Paul walked with a limp. It was a heartache that he didn’t speak often about, but it was likely present.
Prior to his coming to Christ, Paul persecuted the church. He put them in prison, he presided over their deaths, and he hurt a lot of people. A lot.
Israel and Syria are not super large areas of land, so most certainly he would have to face the families whose hearts he had broken with his actions. We don’t know of those conversations that likely took place, but most certainly they were painful. How do you handle it when you realize that your actions, albeit well-intentioned, caused great harm?
“For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. Whether, then, it is I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed” (1 Cor 15:9-11).
He could have rolled over in guilt and shame. He could have not gone forward because of the grief he likely must have felt. But instead, he let grace work greater than his sin.
“his grace was not without effect”
He did not deserve grace. None of us do. But because he understood how much grace he had been given, he determined it would not be wasted. Instead, he worked harder than everyone else in the cause of Christ.
It is true. When we sin, before or after Christ, we can feel the effects of our sin and want to stop. The guilt and shame can overwhelm us.
But in Christ, we can find grace. We must find grace.
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age” (Titus 2:11-12).
Grace saves us. And it also teaches us. Grace is a journey as we continue to grow in sanctification.
Grace, though, needs to be greater than our sin. Shame and guilt can stop us. Grace can fuel us to go further.
Let’s not let the grace of God go to waste, rather let it “not be without effect.”