Life has its beautiful rhythms. You wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, eat lunch, go to work, come home, rest, relax, sleep. Rhythms are nice as we can build into them the things that are of value to us. But honestly in the last month or so, I’ve become dys-rythmed. Out of wack. Just trying to strum to a beat that is erratic.
2020 has been kind of that way.
All the rhythms of life that we have easily have enjoyed have been disrupted. Our interest perhaps in sports or musicians, our sense of security in the world, the way we shop and engage publicly and so much more. Our rhythms have taken a hit and they seem to keep taking a hit.
For me it seems like every day I have something that comes up that is out of the ordinary. I need to go here, do this, take care of that, handle this, fix that. I keep trying to get rhythm back into my life and when I have the time, my brain has such trouble focusing. I need some familiar back.
It has affected my spirit. It has affected my Bible Study. It has affected my relationships. It has affected my prayer life. And my soul feels somehow less.
So I canceled everything on my agenda this morning to try to reset rhythm. And then I find myself rearranging my place, taking care of laundry, thinking I should balance my checkbook, trying to read a Bible chapter and feeling my brain space out, and more. Even when there is time I’m having trouble focusing.
I think the uncertainty of the times is affecting me more than I realize. It’s the uncertainty of moving into a national transition of power, the uncertainty of personal situations that are imminent and will completely up-end life as I know it, the uncertainty of how to spend my days, the uncertainty of the nations raging against truth and against the Lord, the uncertainty of it all. The uncertainty of 2020. And just when you think it has calmed down, you get smacked in the face with something else (Oh, Ravi!).
I walk. I pray. I read. I rest. I try out painting (It is harder than I thought). And still the rhythm is missing.
One day it will return. One day computers will stop breaking, finances will be figured out, life will take on new normal, things will change but they will settle. Sort of.
Until then we keep fighting for rhythm, resting in the Lord, giving ourselves and others grace (because people are testy right now), and keep moving forward.
One day at a time.
