I have this crown someone made for church and I want to throw it away but each time I’m inclined to keep it. It’s hovered over the trash 2 or 3 times now. It’s a crown that causes me great angst. Why? Because it’s not true. It’s a crown alright but it is missing something — thorns! And that’s the way we like the Christian life sometimes.
I had that same angst again this morning. Christmas is near and sweet nativity scenes are everywhere. But they are not true. Why? They are missing something. What? The DRAGON! Yes, the dragon who is trying to kill and devour the child (Rev 12).
I had angst again all day today. There is a situation if it happened would for me a personal hell. Sorry for using that word but since being censored this week one more time, the C – EYE-A is the only one who reads this. So this is for you. (If for some reason anyone else reads this please let me know at gracedfollower@gmail.com).
Anyway, back to today. So yes. I was stressed, angry and in tears not of a situation that has happened, but one that very well may happen. I’ve suffered decades and it could come to a place so awful I can hardly bear the thought. And the truth is, I’m not feeling much hope or trust or faith in God for the situation. I’m being raw toward God and trying to change that.
But it’s the same story. It’s me wanting a crown without thorns, a nativity without a dragon chasing you down to kill, and a Christian life without suffering. Why? Because suffering requires great faith. The more intense the suffering, the greater the faith required.
