I was devastated and did not understand. I read these verses, with the Matthew version being the one i fixated on.
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Mt 7:9-11)
“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:11-13).
God gives good gifts, right?
So I asked. I asked for something that 90% of all of humanity receives. I to this day have never received.
It is good. It is of God. It is normal. But God did not answer my prayer my way.
Granted, he answered my prayer. He always answers prayer. He just didn’t answer it the way I wanted Him to. And maybe one day He will answer it. I don’t know.
But I didn’t get what my heart desired. And my heart became resentful and embittered. Not just for a few days or years. But for DECADES.
Isn’t he a good Father? One who gives good gifts as long as they do not contract his will?
He is. And sometimes that’s why he doesn’t give us even good things our hearts desire.
I don’t have all the answers. But I do know in part. And if my heart grows embittered by not getting something my soul desires, it’s likey because it’s an idol in my life. Something I place higher than my surrender to Him.
The question is do I trust him? Is it really “your will, not my will be done?”
Remember Jesus himself asked for something good. He asked to be spared from the cross. Three times he asked and the Father said, “no.”
There was a bigger picture involved. Bigger even than Jesus.
Sometimes we are not given what we want, even when it is good, because there is a bigger picture involved. Bigger than just us.
It’s in this we have to trust him.
As I said previously, it was the Matthew verse in particular that caused me issues. But when we get to Luke, we see that the emphasis here is on the Holy Spirit. He gives the Holy Spirit to those who ask.
Well, that’s encouraging.
The Holy Spirit is one who guides us, comforts us and helps us in our weakness. That is for sure something I want more of in my life. So I am glad for this verse.
But I need to keep it in proper perspective. And do like Job who did not accuse God of wrongdoing. He knows what is best. And he knows that there is bigger picture than what I can see.
And who knows? The journey isn’t over yet.