What does it mean that Jesus “despised the shame?” And what does that look like for us?
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:1-3).
This week I was trying to explain the difference between shame and guilt to a Brazilian co-worker. There is nuance and difference. Guilt is connected with innocence and misconduct while shame runs deeper, connected to identity. Guilt can be exonerated while shame is a stalking beast that tells us we are not enough, that somehow we are a failure.
Guilt is “I have done something wrong” and I can correct it by paying the price, fine, repenting, etc..
Shame is “I am wrong.”
Most of us have at one point struggled with issues of shame.
A big part of shame is that it is connected socially. We feel shame because of the wrong we’ve done, and the humiliation it brings before our community. And there are definitely things that we should feel shame about. There are deeds of darkness that are shameful.
Coming back to Jesus, the most shameful form of death by the hands of the Romans was the crucifixion. It was bloody, gory, and also, people were generally crucified naked in front of everyone. It was a mockery intended to cut deep. In every way it was the Roman’s attempt to say that you are bad, unredeemable, and worth nothing.
Jesus refused the shame.
In fact, it is so strong, he said he “despised” the shame.
He refused to accept it on the cross. He treated it as nothing for the joy set before him.
It was nothing to him compared to the life of man and God being reconciled. That is joy.
Imagine for a moment that Jesus had let shame overtake him. It might have led him to try to justify himself rather than go to the cross and be shamed. He would have fought back over being mocked. He might have been overcome with sadness rather than the joy set before him.
Everything would have been different if he had tolerated shame rather than despised it.
Thank God, he didn’t.
What does that look like for us?
Here’s a reality, the community we live in still tried to heap on shame even after there has been repentance and fruit in that repentance.
A person who had a short time of doing drugs in their college days repents, and then tries to run for political office 30 years later. It is held against them.
A person who made mistakes in their youth by getting into an inappropriate relationship, they’ve repented, and walked out that repentance, and now somehow they are forever scandalized by the community.
People will try to (falsely) claim that they don’t care what others think, but this is a lie. We are social creatures. We belong to each other. Life is in community. Our social connection matters.
But what happens when there is not grace for mistakes? If there is not repentance, that is a problem. If someone is a repeat offender, that is an issue.
Should we hold a mistake over a person’s head for the rest of their lives? No. If we continue to do this, there will never be anyone qualified.
And what about ourselves? Do we get stuck in shame? Never able to get free from it?
In the previous post we talked about how God wants to being refreshment through repentance and forgiveness. That comes through being made clean. But if we persist in shame, we cannot know the joy of refreshment for our souls. We are still in the dirt of our sins.
This is a wrestling. Because we live in a time that demands a lifetime of moral excellence. Some have lived it. Then there are those of us who have not.
Perhaps we would do well to be more like Jesus, one who rejected the shame others have tried to impose on us, while at the same time knowing we have repented, borne fruit with out repentance, and have found forgiveness and refreshment before God.
God’s forgiveness has been made available. It is for freedom he wants us free, even from the shackles of shame.
It’s his grace that teaches us to say “no” to ungodliness (Titus 2:10-11). Notice that if there’s grace, it means there have been mistakes.
It’s for this that the name of this website is “Graced Follower.”
I’ve needed that grace.
We received it on the cross.