Tears streamed down my face today as I walked.  I wish I could say it was for all that was happening in the world, but that would not be true. I won’t go into reasons why, but no level of self-talk or positive thoughts could overcome the deep overwhelming sadness of soul.  And it’s irritating because whenever I get like that, it utterly exhausts me and wipes me out for the rest of the day, even if I come back around to my senses.

So I gave up and went to my room and decided to read.  This is what I read.

“a person who lives in contrition and repentance has the characteristics of life.  He weeps over the one thing that is worth weeping over, since it spells death and terrible judgment for us and all mankind and will have horrible consequences here and in eternity if there is no repentance.  Yes, he weeps over sin.  Deeply sorrowed by sin, he no longer weeps over things that are not worth weeping over, for compared with this sorrow, they are only a trifle, transient matter.  Whoever gets too upset about temporal things and weeps over them too much falls into a sadness that leads to death (2 Cor 7:10).”

That kind of hit me square between the eyes.  We can sorrow over the things of this life, and such sorrow can lead to sadness and even to death.  Godly sorrow leads to joy.

I can somehow make my sorrow feel like godly sorrow when in fact it is worldly in many ways.  And it’s more obvious by the fruit of it.  It leads to more sadness and not the godly sorrow that leads to repentance, then joy.

Something to ponder.