[This is not a post to cover the entirety of the issue of divorce and remarriage.  There has been a lot of wrong and right done in the name of Biblical passages on divorce and remarriage.  This is not a full study, just commentary on one passage.  Perhaps a full study later.]

Paul makes it clear here that this is not from him as he has given his personal opinion elsewhere.  But this is from the Lord.

“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Cor 7:10-11). 

From the beginning Jesus taught that marriage was a covenant for life, that the only reason divorce was permitted because of hardness of hearts.  Marriage was meant that couples stay together.  And here, it says that if a couple does split, they should not remarry but be reconciled to their spouses.

Does this mean that they should never divorce?  No.  We have seen elsewhere that Jesus permitted divorce for adultery.

What about abuse within marriage?  Sexual?  Physical? Emotional?

It would seem that there is a place for this.  If a woman is getting beat almost to death, no good Father would tell her to stay.  This is a violation of the covenant.

On what basis?  Romans 1 says to look at nature.  And what does nature teach us?  That every single animal on earth has a self-defense mechanism — claws, poison, teeth, camouflauge, etc…  God has put self-defense into the nature of us all.  Why?  Because we are to love ourselves first.

And what about remarriage?  Does it mean someone who divorced can never remarry?  Is there grace and mercy?

The problem becomes that everything then becomes “abuse.” Frankly, this is just hard because “abuse” is used so loosely defined, or too narrowly defined as “only adultery.”  At the same time,  abuse is very real, and it is not always confined to adultery.

But what about divorce from absence?  Withholding sex, withholding affection, withholding relationship, abuse with money, abuse with words, etc…

Every situation is unique.  Each person’s suffering cannot be fully known by another.

What do we get from this passage?

• The Lord has a very high standard for marriage
• Divorce can happen.  It does.  But the ultimate goal is reconciliation.

We know this is not a “never divorce” passage because in the same section, Paul will say that if an unbeliever wants to leave, it is acceptable to allow them to do so.  God has called us to live in peace.

But what if there are two believers and there is no peace?  There are many factors that are influential.

In many ways the high prevalence of divorce among Christians shows that there is a high degree of hardening of hearts.  This can be the case for either one person, or by both people in the relationship.

Jesus said in the last days, the love of most will grow cold. We are seeing that everywhere, especially as social media and our devices sucks our brains out and steals our time investment in others.

But it is also manifesting in marriages.  We are losing the maturity of long-suffering, love, patience, and more.

Does this mean that there is never a time to leave?  No.  There are times to leave.  And not just because of adultery.  There are more ways than one to break a covenant and break a person.

Divorce breaks the heart of God.  So does abuse.

So much on this topic.

So little said here, for sure.