I just came out of a Bible Study and we got to talking about the “issue” of man-to-man, woman-to-woman relationships. It started to get a little engaging so the discussion was stopped and the bible study continued. I was bummed. I think we NEED to talk about these issues.
One of the questions is whether or not someone is born this way. The justification?
1) At a very young age these tendencies are sometimes apparent
2) No one chooses this “lifestyle”
And then there were other issues
3) “It’s no different than other sins”
4) “You need to be merciful like Jesus and the woman caught in adultery”
Let’s deal with these.
1) These behaviors are apparent even from 2-3 years old.
Yes, this is true. You can look at kids and just see it on them. It’s not that they just like pink or blue, but it’s the way they interact with one another and the deviations seem apparent.
Here’s the problem.
If we say that “they are just born that way,” then this equates this action with their identity.
Would we do this for other things as well?
“They can’t help it, they were just…
—born as murderers.
—born as thieves
—born as adulterers
—born as fornicators
Add any crime/sin/deviant behavior in there. It’s important that we don’t associate birth with identity. Rather we were born and receive the nature of sin like a cancer spreading from generation to generation.
We all have sinful desires. The desire for sex outside of marriage, desire to cheat, desire to steal, desire to slander, desire for anything and everything. EVERYONE has sinful desires.
This is so important.
—If it becomes an identity then repentance isn’t possible. The fruit is continuing in sin.
—If it becomes an identity, then God is it fault because they “are born that way. The fruit is bitterness.
Never should we endorse the cultural notion that someone is born a particular way. it is devastating.
But if you are born into a sin nature, then repentance is indeed possible. God can change our hearts.
It doesn’t mean those who love one thing will just automatically love another. I’ve walked with the LORD for a number of decades and I still very much desire to sin. But he makes it so my desire to live righteously is stronger than my desire to sin.
Also I do believe that there is a a spiritual element in all this. As we endorse something, it spreads. I think a lot of these young people, and I mean very young, can oftentimes be affected by unclean spirits.
2) No one chooses this lifestyle.
Again, yes, that is somewhat correct. I did not choose to desire sinful things. I wish I didn’t. But those sinful desires are still in me.
We all have sinful desires that we never “chose” but we’ve always had. Each of us has different sins that we are tempted by. For me, I have not a single desire to ever go out and get drunk. For others this is an hour-by-hour desire and nightmare.
There is another factor though at play. That which we feed will grow. As the age-old poem goes:
“Two natures beat within my breast,
the one is foul, the other blessed,
The one I love, the one I hate,
the one I love will dominate.”
The truth is if we feed any sinful desire, that desire is going to grow and grow until we think it is our identity.
I also again think that when we endorse these things, it opens our spirits to unclean spirits. And those spirits can affect those around us who do not have the Holy Spirit of truth.
It’s true no one chooses a lifestyle. In fact, none of us has “chosen” the particular sins that we desire. This is just the sin nature.
Our sin makes us sinners but it doesn’t make us the sin.
3) It’s not different than any other sin.
Again, this is partly true. ALL sin separates us from God. All sin is an abomination to God.
But here’s where I am bothered by this statement:
A) These issues are THE issue of our day. Almost (80%) every cultural issue right now is sexual in nature. Whether it be abortion, numerous identities, women’s sports, alternative relationships, and more. We need to deal with these issues from a Biblical perspective, especially if it is the central issue of our day.
B) The Bible itself makes sexual sin different and even more harmful than other sins. “All other sins a man commits are outside our body, but he who sins sexually sins against his body” (1 Cor 6:8). Sexual sin is one of the most harmful of all the sins, to us and to others.
C) In a recent study I did on the kings, Chronicles, and Samuel, I observed 2 sins that really provoked God’s anger and wrath more than any other sins—sexual deviancy and the harming of babies. This is manifest in the gods that they worshipped. The idolatry of these sins brought great judgment upon God’s people and the nations around them.
D) The church has placed a greater authority to culture than to sexual depravation. Couples openly live together prior to marriage and the church is silent.
The fruit is that couples are engaging in soul-engaging intimacy without the security of covenant. This creates deep harm for a person’s soul
Many children have been born into homes where relationships are not defined or secure. Mom and Dad may or may not live together and they may or may not have multiple others in their lives. The children themselves are coming up in levels of great insecurity.
When sexual deviation is seen in parents, this harm is propagated to the next generation in even more ways than what they observe in their parents.
4) We need to be merciful like Jesus was with the woman caught in adultery.
Yes. Absolutely. But in its proper context.
Whenever you bring up a discussion if man/man and woman/woman relationships are sin, the conversation always has someone who says you need to show mercy.
We’re not talking about someone in front of us, we are first establishing truth—Is this a sin? Are they born that way?
Important: TRUTH IS NECESSARY TO ENACT MERCY
Ok. I’m deviating.
a) Just talking about whether this is a sin or not does not mean that someone is not being merciful. We’re discussing issues of truth.
b) We deal differently in the situations presented to us.
If someone is a non-Christian, we don’t hone in on this sin but sin in general. We are all inners and in need of a Savior. And the receiving of the gospel begins with repentance from all sins. He will help us in this journey as we grow away from these sins.
If someone is a new-believer, we disciple them and walk with them in their journey out of sin and into a relationship with Jesus. This takes time. And yes, it is a process that sometimes has slip-ups and issues. There’s not condemnation but grace.
If someone is a long-time believer and their sin is persistent and unrepentant, then we deal with this sin and must confront it with love. But yes, confront.
If this is a social issue and we live in a democracy where we can make changes through voting or letting our voice be heard, then we do so. Not with signs of hate but with protests of truth and love.
It’s not the sinners we are targeting but the laws that require 5 years olds to receive sexual education on deviant behaviors. Yes, we speak up and say no, not for my kid.
And the woman in adultery? Where was the man? Not there. But we’ll set that aside. Jesus encountered a situation where clearly the woman was broken and knew her sin. Truth was present. What she needed in that moment was mercy.
So Jesus did what he did and asked anyone who was not guilty to throw the first stone. Since they all left, he couldn’t apply the Law as the Law required 2-3 witnesses and he was the only one. He showed this woman mercy while never compromising truth of the Law. Or her situation.
But this situation isn’t the only one in the Bible. At one point of his life Jesus met the Pharisees. They did not have the truth in their hearts. They did not see themselves as sinners but rather as the righteous ones. In this context, Jesus offered scathing, and I mean scathing rebuke to them (Mt 23).
Where was the mercy of Jesus here? Where was his kindness? Where was his love?
He couldn’t yet show them mercy as they didn’t have truth. This isn’t to say we go out and blast people, especially sinners. As I said above, we don’t. With sinners we offer them truth with the grace, mercy and love of Jesus.
But these were religious leaders. These were the “shepherds” of Israel’s. And they did not have truth. So Jesus brought it to them.
Mercy is widely available to those who at least understand the truth. Or are just searching for the truth.
Nicodemus was also a Pharisee. In John 3 we read he was really searching for truth. He knew part of the truth and he knew there was more. There was mercy for him but also truth. Jesus was loving and firm with him because he was searching.
Context matters. Are we talking to sinners? New believers? Believers of a long time? Politicians? Religious leaders? Truth and love go together.
Conclusion
We must deal with these issues! Our fear of offending someone should not stop us.
We need to understand the context of our situation and not proof-text with one story or verse.
We must not be silent. Our silence has caused great confusion. But when we speak, we must know WHO we are speaking to and deal accordingly.
