Perhaps that is what the man at Bethesda felt. Supposedly the waters were healing. All the invalids hung out there hoping for a chance to get well. But he couldn’t get in the water he needed for healing because no one would take him. Maybe because his family didn’t care. Or he was such a jerk he had no friends. But I do think self-pity had set in.
“Do you want to get well?” Jesus asked.
Instead of a simple, “Absolutely!” The self-pity shows up:
“I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred.”
Some people like their maladies.
But Jesus commanded him to get up, take his mat and walk. The man responded. Later Jesus would tell him,
“Stop sinning or something worse may happen.”
Even invalids can sin in big ways. Perhaps that’s why he was alone.
But here I am. Angry. Frustrated. Ready to explode. Caught in the awful territory of having responsibility with no authority. And it’s something close to my heart and has HUGE implications for life. I’m not in the place of self-pity. Right now just in the place of angry frustration and feeling so utterly helpless.
I remembered the previous post of the values of Iris ministries:
1) Commune with God
2) Expect the miraculous
3) Minister to the poor
4) Embrace suffering
5) Live a lifestyle of joy.
I deviated from every. single. one. of those. My eyes have seen the walls. But I haven’t seen Jesus. Come Lord Jesus. Come.
“I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from? It comes from you, Maker of heaven and earth.” Ps 121