Let’s face it. When we are heartbroken, especially from the death of a loved one, there are things we want people to say to us and things we don’t want them to say to us. And while there are some universal things to say and not say, the reality is what we want people to not say or to say is very individual.
I have had more than one person lately lose a loved one, and were offended at something I said with no ill will. On the flip side I’ve been in a very challenging situation for many years, and people have said the wrong stuff for me that’s been so offensive, it has brought distance to some friendships.
And you know what? It will continue to be like this. People never say what we want them to say, and they will say what we don’t want them to say. It’s just the way it is.
That’s why for me I come to Job’s friends with a measure of mercy. I know God brings judgment to them at the end, but it’s just a hard situation. Walking with someone through grief is like walking through a minefield.
I want mercy from those I’ve offended, yet at the same time I struggle with extending the same level of mercy I want to others who have been so unknowingly and unintentionally insensitive. Infuriating it is. Thankfully Job had mercy on the end and prayed for his friends.
But for now, we must look to their attempts to comfort a grieving person. We have all failed at this. But we can always be learners.
