With all the abuse scandals coming out, there is one thing that has been noticed (and even experienced) on many times.  If someone does not agree with you or like what you say, you are told you need to “get counseling” or “get inner healing.”  Usually it is said about you and not always to you.

There is a place for counseling.  Life has hard knocks and it does affect how we relate to others.  Counseling can be good.  This is not a hit on counseling, but it is on the spirit of when it is used against someone.

Words like these are often used to dismiss someone’s concerns, put someone down, and to make themselves person more together or superior.  When words like this are used, it is not about something that need changed, it is about you, the broken and messed up one.  You are the problem.  You need counseling. You need inner healing.

If you are watching the abuse scandals, it was used often whenever someone brought up concerns.

If a person truly believes this about another person, then the response is not to tell others or the person that they need to go get counseling.  The response should  be greater love, because people who are having problems are that way because they need more love, kindness, and respect.  By telling someone to go get counseling or they just need inner healing, it excuses your personal responsibility to love.  And it also dismisses any and all personal responsibility to hear what are likely valid concerns, no matter who they are coming from.

This is wrong and it does not come from a basis of love.  Do not excuse your responsibility to love and honestly look at problems that are being addressed and dismiss someone because they “need inner healing.”

This was something this author witnessed toward someone else this week, and it was disgusting.  The person, yes, maybe had some minor issues, but who doesn’t?  And this hard working, responsible, wonderful, albeit obnoxious man had his concerns dismissed because “he needed counseling, professional counseling.”

Church, stop doing this.  Stop abdicating your responsibility to love.  And stop dismissing valid concerns in the time of “they need inner healing.”  If you are doing this, it’s not the person you believe that needs inner healing who has the greater problem.