Agony. Pure agony. This is how the psalmist starts. Physical agony in every way. Using descriptors found in Job and elsewhere in the psalms, the writer says his bones burn like a furnace, he can’t eat food, his flesh sticks to his bones, he lies awake and more.
But it’s not purely physical but also relational. His enemies mock him, ridicule him and curse him.
Worse yet, he feels like even God is against him. “You have picked me up and thrown me aside” (Ps 102:10).
And then all of a sudden the verbiage and the tone spin on a dime. The language switches from “I” and “me” and talks about “You” Lord. The Lord will restore Jerusalem and the Lord will again heal the people of Israel. He will once again pay attention to the prayers of the destitute.
Then after praising the Lord and demonstrating great faith, the psalmist returns to talking about his own life. He says he feels God is cutting him off mid way through life. And then one least switch he talks about the eternality of God the fraility of all that is of this earth.
It’s quite a ride as the writer switches back and forth. So much so that you wonder if the psalmist is talking about the same thing. As in discussing his own situation of suffering is actually a picture of the suffering of Israel. We don’t know for sure.
We do know that in this situation where the psalmist feels like he has lost everything–his health, his relationships and even support from God, he turns to God ultimately in faith. He looks at the bigger picture of not just himself but the nation of Israel. And he dwells on the eternality of God.
Frequently when we suffer we get lost in our own world of pain. We forget there is a bigger picture at all–with ourselves, with relationships, with God.
What’s interesting is that in this there is both the rawness of suffering and feeling of abandonment from all including God, but also the greater worship that belongs to God even in our suffering. Feeling abandon and worship don’t necessarily seem to go together, but they can. In fact in the depth of our despair, perhaps worship should be the goal of our response even when we hurt and don’t understand.
